Just had my appointment with Orthapaedics following the MRI.

I came out feeling depressed.

I really don’t know why I bothered with all the effort to persuade the GPs to refer me. So I got a 2nd MRI, but really it didn’t achieve anything. He just said yes your disk is thin and protruding a bit and it’s probably the cause of the pain. But that was it. Nothing more offered or suggested. I’m not bad enough to require treatment. But I’m not good enough to feel fine.

Just seems like that’s it, tough, you’re in pain, deal with it.

Logically I realise that there isn’t really anything they can do but it wouldn’t take much to at least try to seem sympathetic. I’ve been in pain pretty much constantly for over 3 years now. No one seems to be that bothered. As long as I’m not numb or tingly any more, can poop and pee, and my reflexes all behave normally, then they’re not interested.

I feel stupid for even hoping they’d help. And I feel stupid for not asking stuff like – what about pain management? Not that they’d probably have anything to offer anyway.

I’m not sick enough to need help. So I’d better just suck it up and get used to living like this for the rest of my life.

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