Mostly the face I show the world is my happy face, my ‘everything is fine’ face. If you met me I wouldn’t tell the truth if you said “how are you?”. But today I’m not in the world. I have a day off work. I’ve dropped off my daughter for a day ride, my son is busy, my partner is content. And I’m here, sat at the computer, wishing for some relief from my pain.

The truth is that I’m rarely ‘fine’. I’m mostly in pain to some degree or another. Today is a bad one. Today I’ve taken all of the pills I can and it still hurts. I have Fibromyalgia and I am not fine.

some days
pain crushes my joy
pain squeezes every drop of happiness from me
pain is all there is
some days I am merely a husk
an empty shell
good days forgotten
happier times faded
all I am in this moment
is pain
unending
unforgiving
pain

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